...until I can light a "Strike-Anywhere" match with just my thumb.

If My Three Sons dad Fred MacMurray can do it in Double Indemnity - a movie where he gratuitously and unconvincingly refers to Barbara Stanwyck as "baby") - I can, too.

Update: I disapprove of smiling Edward G. Robinson. This is Edward G. Robinson. It's not as though I begrudge him the right to be happy. Just so long as it doesn't interfere with my shallow preconceptions.